I have long pondered over what companies call their Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) policy. Most companies claim to be in favour of diversity and to be inclusive, yet at the same time they lack basic information on, for example, autism and how an autistic colleague behaves.

In Finland, when I was first diagnosed, I was given my own room because a colleague had apparently complained. The idea at the time was seemingly that this would solve all worries; I sat in my own room far away from everyone else. Was it good to get away from the open-plan office? Absolutely! Could I perform my duties? For sure! Did I feel isolated and left out? Every single day!

Unfortunately, this was also used against me: ‘we offered this accommodation, which you accepted.’ So, as a newly diagnosed person with no real understanding of what it entails, since I hadn’t yet started therapy, I was forced to take a stance on how the workplace should take a stance on me. This evaluation should have been made by someone with training and knowledge, not by me who had just received a diagnosis and was in the middle of a personal crisis because of it.

Companies boast about their diversity and inclusion policies, but lack adequate knowledge of what they actually mean, and many also refuse to admit it. In working life, HR personnel have several times emphasised that they have no obligation to hold information about, for example, autism, which is correct, but then they shouldn’t come and claim that their diversity and inclusion measures are adequate even when people with disabilities, including myself, claim the opposite. I have also noticed that companies seem to think that only visible disabilities should be taken into account (e.g. people in wheelchairs), while hidden disabilities like autism should not be noticeable. They don’t even understand that when it comes to hidden disabilities, they manifest as atypical behaviour.

It is fashionable for companies to show how committed they are to their employees. Many hold Pride events, for example, and most job advertisements contain some reference to company culture and diversity and inclusion. Yet many lack, for example, autism training for all employees, which means that the atypical behaviour of an autistic person is perceived as something negative because no one recognises it as autistic. They only understand that it is something that isn’t normal and immediately classify it as rude and unacceptable in the workplace. Yes, I have sat in team discussions about ‘approved ways to behave in the workplace’ and been told that everyone must maintain eye contact. I have then had to point out that, as an autistic person, I find it difficult to maintain eye contact, but unfortunately very few people are able to embrace that information.

For years I have had to endure mild and more severe complaints about my behaviour, and after my autism diagnosis at the age of 53, I understand why. In my teens, I was told things like: ‘you and your damned poker face’; as a working adult and open about my diagnoses, I have received warnings and been forced to apologise to colleagues in cases where their behaviour has triggered me, but my reaction is the one that has been punished. I have also met a number of people who disliked me instantly, which is also a trait associated with neurodivergence. ‘Normies’ are not quite as understanding and tolerant as they imagine themselves to be.

Companies claim to be tolerant and inclusive, but my question remains: when they lack relevant knowledge, how do they know which differences should be respected? How do HR and Raise Your Concern know how to proceed when one of the parties in a dispute is neurodivergent? Unfortunately, there are also several other ignorant parties in this mess; for instance, here in Estonia we have a human rights organisation that gives companies awards for how well they respect differences, but they only ask the company itself, not employees with disabilities or other differences.

I have come to the impression that companies believe people with (hidden) disabilities should just be grateful to have a job and otherwise keep quiet.